Those who love you accept you for your flaws,
but what if your flaws might hurt them?

I was just thinking about it, and I don't have an answer.

If something about me (the words I say etc.) hurts my friends/family, its best for me to change isn't it? But what if its a part of me that I really want to keep? Do I live for myself or others?


For example, my flaw is my impatience. With that saying, "they accept you for your flaws", it means those who love you will still love you for being impatient. This impatience can make them feel insecure, stressed or whatever. How does it make sense for them to love me despite this?

So you say, maybe they still love you EVEN THOUGH you're impatient. It might mean they love other parts of you. That does not mean they love you for your impatience. They say "real friends love you for you and your flaws". Is that possible?

I accept the fact that its impossible for people to love even my flaws. I know that some will love me even if I have flaws. So what contradicts?

The fact that I've got many flaws and some love me. Do they love my good parts, dislike the bad parts but still love me for my good parts? (which means they're simply ignoring my bad parts)




I understand the phrase "you can't please everyone" and I understand I can't be stubborn and stick to my own values. So I find the balance by reflecting upon what they say and change if I think they're right. What if, after reflecting, I think I'm right but it hurts them and not others?

I can go about the same way with others because it doesn't hurt them, so I don't have to change myself. I should change only when I'm with him/her, while knowing the fact that that would be them not accepting that part of me already? (therefore I'm changing or improving)

That might also mean I'm not being myself in front of them. Because I'm trying to avoid that part of me which hurts them which in turn affects our relationship. I've been myself lately, and I know I've hurt a few too. I now understand why it must be mutual. I can't be the only one changing. We must both find a way to go about it, an equilibrium.

Its tough to be yourself without hurting others, it really is.




I'll also ask myself if I want to change because I want them to love me, or because I love them as well and don't want to hurt them. (sometimes we 'live for others for ourselves right?

Maybe changing it to "those who love you still love you because they are able to live with your flaws" would be better than "those who love you accept you for/and your flaws". Accepting is different from being able to live with it, in my opinion.